unsent
Posted by jz at 03:59 PM on November 4, 2009.
have been creating this long email for LL, but up to now, i dont have any courage to click the SEND button... if you're in my shoes, will you send it?
today, i was thinking of giving up... giving up for the chance we can talk.... :(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LL, ive been wanting to talk to you... though it may sound selfish but i just really want to...
btw, it would be just a friendly talk, nothing that much.. i just want to tell u my story... :)
u wont need to answer my questions.. i just want u to listen... but if u also want to ask you may freely do so... after this i wont be buggin u...
i know for a fact that u have a bf now, i know it and accepted it... i have been waiting since college to tell u my story that i liked you eversince(but this time i wont be drunk), and i just have the guts lately, and i still have right now... however the scenarios/circumstances that we had never gave me the chance to tell it to you....
im not sure kung bkit ngayon lang... but it just occurred to me, that it was the perfect time... but reality strikes, and unfortunately its not perfect.. and im afraid that for all this time, i wont be able to tell you everything... im not sure if i will still have the guts later on... that's why i wanted to talk to you now...
as i have told you, i dont want it over fone... why... i want to say it to you upfront... i want to see you, your face, your reaction... it will be more natural this way...
i answered you honestly last night that im not okay... yup im still not... but the worst part is over... im better now than last weeks...
deep inside im feeling mixed emotions... i told myself, i need to be happy for u since you said you are happy... but the sadness prevail, again, im selfish... sorry...
(have tried to be selfless before, but im taking the other route this time)
btw, im not trying to win you over him... since im not the type of person who wants to meddle with someone else life if they already have one... i believe in karma.. and i dont want that to happen to me as well... [updated 11/9] im wishing u are mine...
im not sure whether you still have time for us to talk... i just hope u have... now if u will ask me why i want to talk... i just want to tell u everything... since that "everything" kills me deep inside... and i think it will help me a lot.. but if you think it will not help u or it will confuse you somehow... just say so... i can always keep my burden just for you...
the big question, is do u want to talk to me, do u also want to listen? just be honest if you want to listen/talk to me... i will respect your answer no matter what...
btw, if you are worried that i might tell to any of our friends what happen and whatever will happen.. dont be... i believe you know me... :)
btw, it would be just a friendly talk, nothing that much.. i just want to tell u my story... :)
u wont need to answer my questions.. i just want u to listen... but if u also want to ask you may freely do so... after this i wont be buggin u...
i know for a fact that u have a bf now, i know it and accepted it... i have been waiting since college to tell u my story that i liked you eversince(but this time i wont be drunk), and i just have the guts lately, and i still have right now... however the scenarios/circumstances that we had never gave me the chance to tell it to you....
im not sure kung bkit ngayon lang... but it just occurred to me, that it was the perfect time... but reality strikes, and unfortunately its not perfect.. and im afraid that for all this time, i wont be able to tell you everything... im not sure if i will still have the guts later on... that's why i wanted to talk to you now...
as i have told you, i dont want it over fone... why... i want to say it to you upfront... i want to see you, your face, your reaction... it will be more natural this way...
i answered you honestly last night that im not okay... yup im still not... but the worst part is over... im better now than last weeks...
deep inside im feeling mixed emotions... i told myself, i need to be happy for u since you said you are happy... but the sadness prevail, again, im selfish... sorry...
(have tried to be selfless before, but im taking the other route this time)
btw, im not trying to win you over him... since im not the type of person who wants to meddle with someone else life if they already have one... i believe in karma.. and i dont want that to happen to me as well... [updated 11/9] im wishing u are mine...
im not sure whether you still have time for us to talk... i just hope u have... now if u will ask me why i want to talk... i just want to tell u everything... since that "everything" kills me deep inside... and i think it will help me a lot.. but if you think it will not help u or it will confuse you somehow... just say so... i can always keep my burden just for you...
the big question, is do u want to talk to me, do u also want to listen? just be honest if you want to listen/talk to me... i will respect your answer no matter what...
btw, if you are worried that i might tell to any of our friends what happen and whatever will happen.. dont be... i believe you know me... :)
i dont need other ppl's sympathy... i just need you to listen...
take care...
always,
jz
take care...
always,
jz
buzz it